What is Love?

This question has been asked by several of our readers (and its writers) time and time again. I figure it is the best "first" question to answer.

Q: What is Love?

A: Everyone has a different answer for this question, young or old, married or single, conservative or liberal, and maybe there is something to be said for this fact. Love is different for everyone, because there are different types of love just as there are different types of people. Yes, love is love--you care, you share, you dare. More than the traditional expressions of it, love is hard to describe, and that's why it is individualized.

Yet, how do you know if you love or are loved? This is when it can be tricky. The younger the lovee or lover, love may be overwhelmed by other influences on the emotions: lust, insecurity, friendship, admiration, loneliness, and so on and so forth. It is for these reasons that many older people look at "teen" or "puppy" love as a supposed lesser form of "real love."

Love is not less real simply due to age.

Love is what you believe love to be for yourself at this time in your life. Love meets your needs at your current stage in life and grants you the capacity to express it in the way that you are able for now and in the future. Yes, trust and a fine-tuned level of altruism are important, but love involves wanting the best for the other person. You can love your brother, your friend, and your boyfriend by simply keeping their feelings, goals, and best interest in mind when you speak to them and with your actions. Love is the same at a basic level.

Being in love is a layered process. As you grow older, your ability to love builds on itself. This is why loving at a young age is crucial to your development as a person. You don't need to be caught making out with your boyfriend at age 14 to be in love. Even if you're 20, physical attraction is just one small component of loving, important and essential as it may be. Building on your concept of a trusting relationship with the opposite sex will become important in your capacity to find the right partner for yourself when the time comes for you to settle down. It will also prepare you to handle the potential (and likely) heartbreak that comes with developing your concept of love.

Tips: Be yourself. Have fun. Relax. Remember, you're not planning on getting married in high school, and if you are, missy, you need to ask us more questions! ;)

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